Comic Narrative Analyst Gifts

Big Bob knew it was wrong, but gosh darn it, someone had to stick up for the little guy.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

The Truth

Unnatural Selection.

It would be hours before Jack realized that his wife was not being kinky but had, in fact, gone shopping.

'And that one is the mistake I made in Act II, Scene III, line 14 of Hamlet.'

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

'Ach, Herr Scrooge - ghost of this, ghost of that...serious delusions.'

" ... and markets closed lower today on news that markets would close lower today."

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

Johnny Depp

'I wandered lonely as Wayne Rooney playing up front for England.'

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"? (Published originally on October 12, 2015.)

He dies at the end. There, I've spoiled every story ever written. Whether it's a person, a quest, ennui, a dream, a struggle, hope, despair, innocence, cynicism, a romance, a friendship, or an estrangement

'Okay, one more blog about the meaning of 'Alice in Wonderland' and then off to sleep.'

The movie was over. But not for Bob.

Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you? Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees. Well, I'd like to have How to Get off an Island, by Archie MacGuyver. That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness. We really should have our own book review show.

The Three Passive/Aggressive, Co-Enabling, Chemically-Dependent Billy Goats Gruff

Sitcom/Sitcom with laugh track.

'I read your last book. . . at least I hope it was your last book.'

"I know you insisted on getting off here, but this area is for employees only. Are you sure you know where you're going?"

"Saying you're moral because you believe in God is like saying you're a soldier because you play 'Call of Duty'."

Perpetual motion car

Roadie

"Looks like they're going to have a dog fight."

'Once upon a time there were some me with big sticks, and these men, they said to everyone else...'

"Brick, Eh? Well, sorry to blow your house down but these days it's not wise to be so invested in stability."

"Dial M for MacGuffin."

Under the microscope

Mr. Pecksniff discharges a duty which he owes to society

'Formerly, 'Regular' and 'Extra-Strength'.'