Comic Book Critic Gifts

"Batman V Superman" was amazing. Not good. Not great. It. Was. A

"This bugs me! There's no character development! Everybody is one-dimensional! Nobody really matures!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

The Amazing Man-Spider

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

Time Machine Collision

Honest Vending

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

"How many darn burritos did you eat?"

"Amateurs."

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Yes Mr Hare, you were right: He IS on steroids!'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'Well, back to the old drawing board.'

Non Thought For The Day.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Occupy Budget Balancing

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

Polar bears

A skip full of fools.

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

How Trickle Down Economics Work

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

"This company needs a hero - not a superhero. You're overqualified."

This action stuff is okay, but try a romance or comedy next time.

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'Try his land line.'

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you?"