Trick-or-treat Pranksters Pillows

Well...I filled it!

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Scary stuff

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

"This is your Aunt Blizzard. She's the wicked witch of the Northeast."

"Santa's not been happy with your behavior in class and says, get it together or your Christmas won't be merry!"

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

Tartar sauce.

"Not that it's right, but I understand. I was young once and used to sneak out to do crop circle, too."

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

'All I've got so far is a bag of stuffing.'

Back to the Holidays

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

"I think we both know who did it...."

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Revenge Of The Tipped Cows

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

"The stranger came bearing gifts of graham crackers and chocolate. No one suspected the murder weapon he hid behind his back until..."

'Santa has been and he's taken our telly...'

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'