Halloween Prankster Pillows

"Where's that damn 'escape' key?"

"The stranger came bearing gifts of graham crackers and chocolate. No one suspected the murder weapon he hid behind his back until..."

'Trick or treatment.'

'Are these your pumpkins? We found them in the middle of the street totally smashed!'

Three Legged Trick or Treater.

"Mr. October"

"Alright, kids. Who wants to hear a scary living story?"

Scary stuff

Witch's Smile.

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).

"Can I have some arm candy?"

'I told you, we've got pepperoni, salami, tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, peppers, extra cheese and anchovies...but no braaaiiins!'

"Of course I'm frightened. I just thought you would be bigger."

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"Feel the monster guts in the bowl!"

"Does that mean trick or treaters too?"

"Yeah, I ran out of candy so I handed out books of matches instead. Is there a problem?"

"Hey! are you sure this is a Glaucoma test?"

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

That one has all the batteries!

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Turkey Autopsy

Christmas Presents.

'I could eat you.'

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

Halloweek: Eating candy seven days straight.

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe

Santa Claus Poops on the Chimney of the world.

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"