Tree-loving Hiker Gifts

"Some trees in New Hampshire hate being hugged."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'Echo Tourism'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Scenic Root: ants, bugs and worms using an exposed tree root as a scenic route.

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

Monkey-artist

Do you have anything bigger?

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"I brought cocoa."

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

'New Age Dog Park' Dogs commune with Nature.

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'I mean...'

Stop and Birch

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

'Remember, we're planting a tree, not burying a bone.'

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

Tree Squirrel

Guru. It's not some kind of zen metaphor --- I really do have an invisible fence!

Childhood

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

'You're gonna love it son! We'll leave our homes for a few days and live in the great outdoors'

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

Ozone layer claims another victim.

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.