Traveling Jester Gifts

"Forget about me Rob, go! Save yourself!"

"Excuse me, Captain, but one of the passengers would like to know if you could land in a field so they can make a quick phone call."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Clown Wedding with Rake

"It's my helper trout!"

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

Tourist

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

You are now leaving Everything..."Well, now I've seen everything."

Jack in the Box Oxygen Mask

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

Distance to horizon varies.

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

'Any questions?'

'Rex here, is just like one of the family.'

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

Desert Roundabout

"Very good Carter, but when you said you wanted to show us your Powerpoint we assumed you meant presentation!"

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.