Travelers' Trials Gifts

Tempers fray after a little delay at Little Dabney halt

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

I love Lawyers

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"Bailiff."

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

Vaccination Passport

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

Injured backpacker.

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Lenin, Anticipating His Arrival at Finland Station, Sees His Baggage Taken Off at Beloostrov.

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

A white collar cow.

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'He started it!'

"Let me tell you, folks—I've been around long enough to develop an instinct for these things, and my client is innocent or I'm very much mistaken."

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

"Twenty five years! But your honor,