Travel Planner's Nemesis Gifts

"Well, we won't book with travel agent again"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'Are we broke yet?'

Marriage least expected to last...

Injured backpacker.

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"Whoa! Was that today?"

"Enjoy your stay at the Bat Hotel. Breakfast is at 7 a.m. The guano bucket is down the hall and to the left."

She never could tell when he was being sarcastic.

A mental-health spot quiz, Al: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single … Google search of travel websites"?

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

"Have you decided where to travel?"

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

'I wish you'd told me your brother worked for the Mirror before we got him to do the wedding pictures.'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'...and ski conditions will be excellent on city streets today.'

'A sea view would be nice-Black Sea for him,Red Sea for me!'

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

Travel Advice to Dog Owners. . . On those long car trips allow time to stop so he can do his business.

Signpost to London and Cairo with Umbrella and Parasol.

Marriage Ceremony

'The Federal Government today issued an order to American citizens to stay out of countries whose names begin with a 'B'....'

"Mabel, you are becoming a control freak..."

"If you don't get on that plane...there's also the 5:43, then the 9:27, but that's got a layover in Atlanta, then..."

'It will be a big wedding, I invited all 2679 of my facebook friends,'

'Dad, I need my passport, quickly!'

'I'd like to time my vacation to when my mate is in heat.'