Travel Narrative Fan Gifts

"In America, the streets are paved with gold. And everything else is stuffed with cheese and bacon."

'What zip code are we in now?'

The Fourth Little Pig

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Don't move! It's as I suspected, they're attracted to clowns!"

This side is the gag reel.

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Moby Dick

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

Airplane food

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

Ask A Silly Question.

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Thomas Keneally

Airport

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

1688: Pirate Dentistry - "Say ARR!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"You don't think this could be construed as ironic do you?"

Waiting for the snow to arrive in Aviemore.

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

Romulus and Remus

God's Double Whammy.

Pirates find out treasure is a piggy bank.

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Bertolt Brecht

"I can write, but I can't draw."