Travel Comic Gifts

"Enjoy your stay at the Bat Hotel. Breakfast is at 7 a.m. The guano bucket is down the hall and to the left."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Harsh Mellows.

"Check it out! The big Comic-Con starts this week!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"My guess it's guacamole."

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Can I have a look at the map?

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

"The next time you have an 'emergency', have it on the roof like every other self-respecting bird!"

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

Business acquaintances on holiday

The Chippendales go through airport security.

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

'Budget is the name of the airline. Nobody said anything about cheap flights.'

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

People Holidaying in the Highlands

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

"Well, they did say half-board."