Travel Comic Gifts

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

Harsh Mellows.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"My guess it's guacamole."

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Can I have a look at the map?

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

Business acquaintances on holiday

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

'Budget is the name of the airline. Nobody said anything about cheap flights.'

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

People Holidaying in the Highlands

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

"Well, they did say half-board."

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

"Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."