Trap Connoisseur Gifts

'It's gotta be a trap.'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The Philip Marlow family

"You dropped yer wallet."

Traffic Cone Monsters

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

"The enemy will never be able to spot our troops in the new camouflage scheme General."

"I'm in disguise."

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

Pet owner pours out contents of treats for dog that are oddly shaped. Box titled: 'Funny Bones'.

Happy Halloween. Something's different about her. It's boo!-tox. Every Halloween its the same thing. They take candy off the house and never come to the door. That careless jerk almost trampled me! What was it? The "Heedless" Horseman! I know it's just toilet paper, but as a mummy it still gives me the creeps!

"You know damn well what noise!"

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'

Product Testing Department

The Wagnerites- An Evening at the Opera

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"Sorry, y'all — no locals. This is a tourists-only bar."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Cat reaching his paw into a mouse hole that is rigged with a guillotine; the mouse has many taxidermy cat paws displayed on his wall

Crime Writer's Society.

In Disguise.

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

"Will you read me the part of that pamphlet about the drive-through redwoods again?"

Camouflage company's annual staff photograph.

'They could use a great camouflage expert like you in the army, Mom.'

'He went that way, quick!'

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

"Well Inspector - that little trap you set seems to have worked!"

Fisherman Funneral

Man stabbed in crime section of library, writing 'AAGH!' on piece of paper.

Camp Games

"Don't be late - I'm making moldy meat and orange peels over coffee grinds with a side of egg shells."