Creepy Connoisseur Gifts

"Hey, can I check out those figure drawings again?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

The Philip Marlow family

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

Imagine

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

Crazy old clown cat lady.

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

Clown's In and Out Trays.

"I suffered a stroke."

Who's a cutey?

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Clown Watercooler

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

Crime Writer's Society.

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Mass Confucian

Good Cop, Bad Clown: 'Ok, ok I'll tell you what you want! Just make that creepy clown stop staring at me!'

The Butcher of 35th street.

Pizza and Related Searches.

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

Blue wine

"Keep back... I'm going to try reviving him with my hand buzzer!"