Creepy Connoisseur Gifts

"Hey, can I check out those figure drawings again?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

The Philip Marlow family

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

Imagine

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

Crazy old clown cat lady.

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

Who's a cutey?

"I suffered a stroke."

Clown's In and Out Trays.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

Clown Watercooler

Crime Writer's Society.

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Mass Confucian

Good Cop, Bad Clown: 'Ok, ok I'll tell you what you want! Just make that creepy clown stop staring at me!'

The Butcher of 35th street.

Pizza and Related Searches.

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

Blue wine

"Keep back... I'm going to try reviving him with my hand buzzer!"

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"