Cheating Connoisseur Gifts

"Careful, Rocky. You're about to give away the secret behind your knockout punches."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

'Love me little, love me long.'

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

Crazy old clown cat lady.

Clown's In and Out Trays.

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Clown Watercooler

'Okay, I admit it - your conspiracy theory was right!'

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'Psst, Senator, not that one -- that's your HIDDEN agenda!'

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

"True, it's an authorized biography, but we'd do better by marketing it as unauthorized."

Wildlife Refuge

Things You Should Know About...

"Keep back... I'm going to try reviving him with my hand buzzer!"

Confession Ratings.

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

"Before I begin, everyone must sign a non-disclosure agreement."

clown trophies