Transport Mishap Aficionado Gifts

'Please hold on while the train arrives at concourse D...'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

Planes, Trains, Automobiles, Zeppelins.

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

spellchecker

Dyslexic Palm Reading

Crash Test Dummy Jokes that Get Old Fast. Oh, no! Somebody cut the brakes! Every single time.

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

Damn predictive text, did you mean to break up with me or 'brick my tit'?"

'What did I tell you? - It's time to invent traffic laws.'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

"So that's unanimous Gentlemen. Seatbelts fitted on all our trains"

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

Mr. Jonas exhibits his presence of mind

'Oh, those are just for show. We don't have electricity.'

"I'd like 40 kilos of pain killers, please."

Family using a mobile stairway to enter their SUV

'We have a new tribe member everyone. We will call him'Crashes-His-Volvo.'

'That's typical - they're not our suitcases!'

"On the plus side, you've cured my back pain."

Replacement Bus Service Spotter

'This car doesn't go down the hall, madam.'

'Oops sorry, but it is such a big target'

Metrocab/Retrocab

World Exhibition - August 1855 - Ground-plan, section, height and elevation of a Parisian cab

Bus Conductor and Portly Lady

Desert Crawler wants Taxi

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'

Bumper stickers in the Demolition Derby.

Sleepy man dribbling on a woman on the London underground

Acme Bowling Balls: Stay Back 200 Feet! Not Responsible For Striking Windshields!

'No, something really slinky -- I wrecked the car!'