Industrial Accident Aficionado Gifts

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

The first car accident.

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."

Motivation to work

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

U.S. Manufacturing - Good News & Bad News

The hall of bad ideas.

"Our 'Invest in American' program is saving money by buying orange safety cones from China."

'Once we switch to information processing, just imagine how much data this baby will handle.'

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

"It's called being preemptive."

"Fasten your seat belt."

Drop dead gorgeous

'Bob, I was just trying to get you on the phone to see what all that noise outside was about.'

'Someday, all of this liability exposure will be yours!'

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

Steel Works - 'How the devil did all this go down 7 3/8 today?'

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

Crash Test Dummy Jokes that Get Old Fast. Oh, no! Somebody cut the brakes! Every single time.

The guardrail brings it up to code.

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

Pinocchio goes on holiday.

"You see - this machine can cut your work force in half!"

Artist in industrial environment paints a butterfly.

"I don't know why other countries won't buy our products...After all, they made them!"

'They're a bit pricey, but on the other hand, I don't have to buy any baby gates.'

Lightbulb Maker

Safety First Cricket

Surgical Appliance Factory

'Some of you were wondering, 'what, exactly, does Smedgwick, Refining and Smelting do'?'

The Electric Fence Survivors Support Group