Metro Mishap Enthusiast Gifts

Sleepy man dribbling on a woman on the London underground

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

The hall of bad ideas.

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

"About time they did something about the rats!"

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

'I wish you'd told me your brother worked for the Mirror before we got him to do the wedding pictures.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

spellchecker

'I can't turn it off.'

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

Dyslexic Palm Reading

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

Paramedic Mistakes.

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Ballerina kicking another dancer in the face.

'Oh, those are just for show. We don't have electricity.'

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

Broken hospital sign.

Three Pointless Things To Do This Week: Dig a Tunnel/Say Hello To Your Breakfast/Take a Tube to Clapham Common.

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

"Michael Bolton at Folsom Prison"

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'

You are here but you should be here

A skier who has hit a solitary tree