Transparent Thinker Gifts

Heavenly politics. Campaigns here are different from those down on earth. Saint Peter has a complete file on everybody, so there's total transparency up here. Our debates are friendly and the ads are all positive. And here the incumbent in the highest office always runs unopposed. That's all true, but in one way the camaigns up here are just like the ones on earth. They go on for eternity.

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'The Questioner'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

"Show off."

The Female Brain and The Other One

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

How Optimism Works

Challenge and solution

Thought bubble mirrors the cloud in the sky.

Thinking and thinking backwards.

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

Product Formula - "He's brilliant. But his mind wanders."

Climate Change Road

'My wife's therapist doesn't understand me.'

“What if I tell you the card you are thinking of is … the Jack of Hearts ?”

Chinese History: Redwash

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

Redacted Funnies: "Finally, the President blurted out what the country knew all along. . . . . . "

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

Copyrighted Ideas

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

"Don't worry, Howard. The big questions are multiple choice."

Sign pointing to 'hindsight' and 'foresight'

"I feel used."

"But it would be rude to raise taxes on my friends."