Transmission Specialist Gifts

Ralph's Transmission: Now Hiring All Shifts.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Take me to your mechanic."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Ruddy bloggers!

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

'What's the concept? I'm not sure what you're trying to say, Ms. Harris.'

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"You've got to be kidding. I finally start getting the hang of those traffic circles, and now this!"

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"How about this? We carpet the road and use the resultant static electricity to power our electric cars."

Do your emails stand out from the rest?

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

"Dadgum this color blindness."

Plain English group.

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

Natural gas