Train Travels Gifts

Platform Position Plan

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Sloaney Pony.

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

Easter Island legs

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"First class, or with children?"

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

Desert Island Meals.

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

Omara Portuondo

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

The Family Joules: Part 16

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

Airport Security.

Sparkling Water

"Thank god I bought my layers."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

'Being offshored isn't exactly what I expected.'

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

Tourists and their Pets.

'Are we there yet?'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"