Traditionalist Tippler Gifts

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

Traditional ale,Traditional Drunk

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

My first mistake.

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"Yes we have dollar drafts, no you can't use your own glass."

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

"Have you tried the David and Goliath cocktail?"

'This one's called 'Towel stealer'. It's a guest beer.'

Tip responsibly

Come in here if you don't like....

Visitor to a Landmark Tavern

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

'Invented a new cocktail.' '

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'Apparently, in the kitchen it is more masculine not to use a power tool.'

Joe's Bar: Do your discretionary spending here!

'There's a machine now that tells you when to stop drinking. It's called a cash point machine.'

'Thinker's drinker.'

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

'So, does your wrist-wearable wine analyzer have anything so say about that Burgundy, like how to get it out of silk?'

"Blech! Skim milk!"

Ballet Beggar.

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

'I hope this doesn't turn into a tradition.'

"We need a different new year's tradition."