Traveling Tippler Gifts

Visitor to a Landmark Tavern

'This one's called 'Towel stealer'. It's a guest beer.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

Unrest Area.

The next fast train has gone.

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

Sporting snobs talk about hunting on turnpike roads

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"I was sick - sick in Hawaii."

"Yes we have dollar drafts, no you can't use your own glass."

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

A magician sees his suitcase with swords in it on the luggage conveyor belt.

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

Hubert deeply regretted his wish that his train would arrive on time.

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'Fancy a spot of work after drinks?'

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

'So, does your wrist-wearable wine analyzer have anything so say about that Burgundy, like how to get it out of silk?'

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'Thinker's drinker.'

Joe's Bar: Do your discretionary spending here!

Airline Charges

The room you gave me was so small every time I bent over I rearranged the furniture.

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'