Creative Tippler Gifts

'Why do I choose to paint with wine?--The clean-up.'

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

My first mistake.

'We want to go where the Geraea canescens grow wild and we can tiptoe through the phacelia crenulata!'

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"Yes we have dollar drafts, no you can't use your own glass."

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

'This one's called 'Towel stealer'. It's a guest beer.'

Visitor to a Landmark Tavern

Tip responsibly

'Invented a new cocktail.' '

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'Fancy a spot of work after drinks?'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'Thinker's drinker.'

'There's a machine now that tells you when to stop drinking. It's called a cash point machine.'

Joe's Bar: Do your discretionary spending here!

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

Ballet Beggar.

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

'So, does your wrist-wearable wine analyzer have anything so say about that Burgundy, like how to get it out of silk?'

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

Traditional ale,Traditional Drunk

'What? You mean I ran all the way here and got all that exercise for nothing?'

'My Beer Expert necklace reports that this IPA is perfect, so why do I need to taste it?'

Harry, I've just had a tip!