Traditionalist Food Enthusiast Gifts

'Once we escape poverty we won't have to eat any more of this single-batch artisanal wild-produce crap.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Night of the Latkes

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Grandma's caf

'Is this still America?'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Full English Breakfast.

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Your meal sounded nice."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

Thermidor Dali

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

Snacks for Learners

As soon as he began speaking Manuel's Spanish accent was unmistakeable and he was evicted from the Local food group.

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

'He refuses to overeat and get plump. Do you think he knows something we don't?'

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.