Culinary Tradition Enthusiast Gifts

"...brisket ...recipe. Hide it."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

Grandma's caf

'Is this still America?'

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Baker Romance

'I was in the catering corps.'

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

The Perfect Foil

Feast

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Join me for dinner?

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

Cookery Lesson.