Culinary Culture Enthusiast Gifts

"The chef would like to thank you for filling in the questionnaire and after watching you on our CCTV, he has these comments for you: You all chose the wrong wine and cutlery with your food and...'"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Baker Romance

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

'I was in the catering corps.'

"Room for dessert, folks?"

Feast

The Perfect Foil

"What's happened to Quiche?"

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

Cookery Lesson.

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

The perfect man

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'