Culinary Enthusiast Gifts

"Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?"

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

You are the wasabi on my sushi

"The knuckle sandwich looks good."

Hot Cakes-Sold Out.

"Aw, man, that's never coming out."

Survived the Holidays

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"And I'll have my usual - 'Mutton dressed as lamb'!"

'I was in the catering corps.'

'Only his closest associates are allowed to call him Peking'

"O.K., I'm ready. You can let it go."

"Say it with Pierogies"

"Compliments? Well, someone said the salt and pepper tastes nice."

'On your way back from the Holy Land, can you stop at Paris and pick up some creme brulee?'

Deli-grill in a supermarket luring customers in.

Tramp enjoys good food.

'I'm watching a cooking show. The presidential candidates are making mincemeat of each other.'

'Of course I remembered. What is the traditional gift for a 25th wedding anniversary - steak or lobster?'

"We'll have to operate to remove those giblets"

'Well excuse me, but if your chef's so great, why is he in the kitchen instead of a TV show?'

Doctor in the house.

"Un-sliced bread is the greatest thing since sliced bread!"

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

German Cafe - We serve the best of the wurst!

Books in the 'Food Section' of a library have been half eaten.

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

Have you noticed how chefs have replaced hairdressers in the social pages?

"Is the fish fresh?"

It's how we've always done it

'When he walked in the door and said, 'Not shis kabob again!', that's when I let him have it.'

"Yes dear, I'm sure if it were smaller the pepper mill would make a fine ear and nose hair trimmer."

'I've been watching so many cookery shows I haven't had time to make your dinner.'

'Anything else, Sir?'

The Pastrycook and a Greedy Boy