Culinary Enthusiast Gifts

"Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?"

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

You are the wasabi on my sushi

"The knuckle sandwich looks good."

Hot Cakes-Sold Out.

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Aw, man, that's never coming out."

"And I'll have my usual - 'Mutton dressed as lamb'!"

Survived the Holidays

'Only his closest associates are allowed to call him Peking'

'I was in the catering corps.'

"O.K., I'm ready. You can let it go."

'On your way back from the Holy Land, can you stop at Paris and pick up some creme brulee?'

'I'm watching a cooking show. The presidential candidates are making mincemeat of each other.'

'Of course I remembered. What is the traditional gift for a 25th wedding anniversary - steak or lobster?'

Deli-grill in a supermarket luring customers in.

"We'll have to operate to remove those giblets"

"Say it with Pierogies"

'She had high standards. Everything she did was well done.'

Tramp enjoys good food.

"Compliments? Well, someone said the salt and pepper tastes nice."

"Un-sliced bread is the greatest thing since sliced bread!"

'When he walked in the door and said, 'Not shis kabob again!', that's when I let him have it.'

"Yes dear, I'm sure if it were smaller the pepper mill would make a fine ear and nose hair trimmer."

English cook asking a boy to take his roast bef and plum pudding out of the window because it is offending foreigners

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

Have you noticed how chefs have replaced hairdressers in the social pages?

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'I've been watching so many cookery shows I haven't had time to make your dinner.'

Dead Duck.

The perfect man

The Female Golfer

Doctor in the house.