Traditional Taste Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm a meat and potatoes guy in a kale and tofu world."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

Grandma's caf

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

'Is this still America?'

Full English Breakfast.

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Folk Wedding

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

Maypole

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

Shall I be mother?

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

Shavuot - Like!

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

Time for Tea

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

Queen reigning.

"We don't make toys any more. I send the elves to buy them in China."

First Marriage.

'I want a traditional church wedding but Sam prefers something trendy. Can we compromise and do it bunji-jumping from the steeple?'

"Baldo, I don't like you eating that nasty food!"

Happy Hogmanay!

'Why can't you do a yodel that sounds like you're making money instead of cheese?'

'Well,what do you think of the new gown and wig?'

'Not ANOTHER pub boarded up!'

"We had this last year."

"Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, which may involve an occasional hot=dog-eating contest."

'I totally forgot what I was looking for.'