Toxin Tamer Gifts

Lollipop mask

"Water pollution? What water pollution?!"

Picnic in Gas Masks

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Secretive Weigh In.

To do before Saturday...

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

Parenting Business Deals

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Beware of the Undergrowth.

Education Guidance

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

'I'd like the short form instead...'

Tax grab.

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

Mother nature mourns the state of the world.

"Kid, I'm begging you, please stop farting."

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'