Touristic Taverner Gifts

Visitor to a Landmark Tavern

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"Sorry, sir. The baggage must match the passenger."

"White whale, red dot—we're all chasing something, my friend."

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

Joe's Bar, Get the Full Beer Experience.

Joe's Tavern: Perfect Attendance

'I finally got a grip on reality, and evidently I squeezed too hard.'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

The only "fake news" we care about is fake IDs.

'It's tough having a casual political discussion these days.'

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

Beer $1.00. The painter refinished the bar top and left this place absolutely spotless! He varnished without a trace!

The bipartisan election cycle: 'Every 2 years without fail, I perform my patriotic duty and vote the bums out.'

Joe's Bar - ask your doctor if Joe's bar is right for you!

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

Hugh - From Barnaby Rudge

'This is a no-frills bar, pal -- You bring your OWN napkins!'

Tuesday is drunken rant night. The noncommissioned officer is the backbone of this man's army!!!

'This place looks welcoming enough!'

I'm the Bluebird of Happy Hour.

"There, but for the wrath of my wife, go I."

Man leaving the tavern and realising he is late for dinner

'I used to do a lot of business over the phone, but as soon as Caller ID came along...'

Joe's Bar, not for Sissies. Sissies, try Bruce's bar around the corner.

Joe's Bar - Not responsible for drunks left over 24 hours.