Tavern Goer Gifts

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"White whale, red dot—we're all chasing something, my friend."

'My wife reached the age of consent thirty years ago, but you'd never guess it to talk to her.'

Joe's Tavern: Perfect Attendance

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Swan Lake's Odette and Siegfried

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

'It was a play on words...and a bad one at that!'

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

Amanda Seyfried

Miggs's short-lived joy

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

'I tell you I smell Limburger.'

"Damn it, Persky! I ask you for a fiercely choreographed rite of destruction and rebirth, and you give me a febrile study of dehumanized angst."

Forensic evidence now proves that the shots in the balcony weren't meant for the President, but rather the show's cast.

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

'On the mathematics vaudeville circuit...' 'Fermat's last theorem - big deal! He only had two theorems!'

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

'Hey Are you sniffing at my girlfriend's ae'

"Those who can can, dance."

BLEAK PROSPECTS: DOWNSIZING FOR THE NINETIES

Raging Bull on Ice

'Nothing on the sign says I have to have a person with me.'

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

Wotan with eye patch

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

Cinema. Save me a seat, dear, behind you.

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

The clown loses it at the circus and takes the 'fat lady' hostage with a cream pie 'I'm not clowning this time, back-off or the fat-lady gets it!'