Tourist Tales Gifts

Welcome to Stratford-On-Avon...Birthplace of William Shakespeare...Park not here, lest ye be towed!

'What zip code are we in now?'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

Airplane food

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

"Excuse me... I think you're in my seat."

"Who wants to go first?"

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

The aviation experts come out to play

'...so then I said 'your camera is stealing my soul' and he said 'I'm so sorry - how can I possibly repay you?''

Monster Souvenir

Benefits of Living Abroad

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

Caravan and Humpback Bridge

"Excuse me, I just need to raise my arms and expose my bare stomach within about three-quarters of an inch from your face."

'Rumour has it - he upset a 'Witch - doctor' while on holiday in Africa!'

Tourist Attractions

Pussycat says to Owl: 'This is rubbish, can we PLEASE do Ibiza next year?'

Traveling abroad from Cuba...

'It's new government policy - we have to include affordable edifices.'