Tourist Tales Enthusiast Gifts

"Hey, buddy, wouldn't the Grand Canal be faster?"

'What zip code are we in now?'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Welcome to Stratford-On-Avon...Birthplace of William Shakespeare...Park not here, lest ye be towed!

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

Airplane food

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

"Excuse me... I think you're in my seat."

"Who wants to go first?"

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

Monster Souvenir

'...so then I said 'your camera is stealing my soul' and he said 'I'm so sorry - how can I possibly repay you?''

Pussycat says to Owl: 'This is rubbish, can we PLEASE do Ibiza next year?'

Traveling abroad from Cuba...

Benefits of Living Abroad

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

Caravan and Humpback Bridge

'Rumour has it - he upset a 'Witch - doctor' while on holiday in Africa!'

Tourist Attractions

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

"Excuse me, I just need to raise my arms and expose my bare stomach within about three-quarters of an inch from your face."

'It's new government policy - we have to include affordable edifices.'

'For the benefit of the passenger who joined the train at Watford Junction, this is the non-stop London to Birmingham High-Speed service.'