Travel Tales Reader Gifts

Mrs. Gummidge casts a damp on our departure

Welcome to Stratford-On-Avon...Birthplace of William Shakespeare...Park not here, lest ye be towed!

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

"I cleaned out the RV. We accumulated a lot stuff since we started RVing..."

Animal immigration

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

Tourist Attractions

"Somewhere in France Maureen has a tête-à-tête."

Benefits of Living Abroad

Tourists

'It's new government policy - we have to include affordable edifices.'

'For the benefit of the passenger who joined the train at Watford Junction, this is the non-stop London to Birmingham High-Speed service.'

'At last! Your boomerang has finally returned.'

'I can't put my finger on it but George has been different every since came back from safari.'

"Where the @!!!$#% are the pigeons?!"

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

"Hey, buddy, wouldn't the Grand Canal be faster?"

"I just barely managed to escape from a tribe of mad cannibals!"

"They were right. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

"Ed lives somewhere in the midwest and Jim settled out on the west coast, so I don't see them much anymore."

We apologise for the mix-up! Normal service will resume soon!

Commuting with Sardinetrack - 'Coo, don't they pack us in?'

American man on holiday

"...we didn't lose your luggage, we forgot to load it."

Excess Baggage: Welcome to Frequent Flyer Hell

"Stop complaining! I told you it would be a long trip, but you insisted on coming!"

'Tourists bring in money ... and sometimes... Hong Kong flu!"

No Trespassing!

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'