Tourist Joke Lover Gifts

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

Carefree luggage.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Airport Security.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Limerick Airport

Can I have a look at the map?

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

Passengers arriving on luggage conveyor belt

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

Holiday Luggage

Stonehenge Imitation

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

"I see you didn't purchase ANY leg room"

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

Traffic Sign

The summer the people depart, and life on Monster Island resumes its leisurely pace.

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

'Well? How was the flight?'

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

'You've been looking for that cuff-link, haven't you? Well...'

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'