Tortured Genius Enthusiast Gifts

"He's always had a fascination with the hard drinking,hard living writer,the tortured genius. It's an image he's tried to emulate. Unfortunately he's only ever managed the first two parts." "I can't <hic> feel my face."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

A Poet

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

'Very impressive. Do you have any post-kindergarten education?'

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

"To be honest, nobody wants to buy your paintings... we need a promotional strategy! Cut off your ear in public!"

Franz Liszt

"Why do you have to be so smart? You'd be more popular if you acted normal."

"Boy, that Isaac Newton is one smart cookie!"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

Albert Einstein

Jean Genet.

Brendan Behan.

"Fascinating, a dollop of dog crap topped with jelly babies. yes, he's years ahead of his time."

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it's met its match.

Action VS Thought

'And now the other leg!'

'The head of our script department!'

Trump: "The deep state is out to get me"

'Hi! You must be an absurdist - or are you just absurd?'

Artificial Intelligence

'A book report? Wouldn't that be a copyright violation?'

Paper says: 'Scientist creates clever chimp'.

Normal brain - active, dozing, asleep, distracted

"Boy or a girl, it doesn't matter. As long as it's a whiz kid."

"When do you first think I wasn't a gifted child?"

"Well, I'd say I'm naturally curious, rather bookish and exceptionally smart. I'm good at being honest, too."

Hey boss, it's almost the middle of March and I haven't been paid yet. Are you sure? Perhaps I already paid you for March back in February. Perhaps I've been paying you a whole month early for the last 16 years, and so you aren't actually entitled to another check until April. If you show me your very first check stub from 16 years ago, we could clear this up. Very. Mad. Man.

'Tough guy, eh? Want to step outside?'