Torah Twister Gifts

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

'Yes, all at once!'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Moses as a child.

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Hanukkah tree

Jack and the Beanstalk.

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

"First, do no ham."

Moses Parting the Red Tea

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"Okay, we get it - You're a social conservative!"

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

'He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.'

Safer Torah

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

"Still not sure why Moses wanted a flint knife, or what exactly circumcision is..."

Torah-nosaurus Rex

Burke and Hare and Hare

Serf faints as apple is shot from his head by an arrow.