Torah Lover Gifts

Torah-nosaurus Rex

'Yes, all at once!'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Moses as a child.

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Lord of the Rings: Two Towels

"First, do no ham."

'Whoa! - The activist judges will go NUTS with these!'

Moses Parting the Red Tea

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

"Okay, we get it - You're a social conservative!"

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

'I would describe it as a splitting headache.'

"They are refering to the loaves and fishes as sandwiches."

'The plan is that we wander in the desert until somebody recognizes our right to exist.'

Safer Torah

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

"Still not sure why Moses wanted a flint knife, or what exactly circumcision is..."

Manna Helper

Torah reading on the subway.

Samson Gets Off at Fourteen

Haman as a child

'No, sorry, this isn't an oil tanker.'

'Why can't you rebel like a normal teenager?'

"Look, it's manna or nothing - No WAY He's going to give us ham sandwiches!"

'No way! Why should we? We're not going anywhere! We're staying right. . .Then again, when you put it that way. . .'

Joshua as a kid

'Lot was told to take his wife and daughter and flee from Sodom.'

'I'll let your people go, but NO dual citizenship!'