Torah Tale Lovers Gifts

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Yes, all at once!'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Moses as a child.

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

'Whoa! - The activist judges will go NUTS with these!'

Moses Parting the Red Tea

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

"Okay, we get it - You're a social conservative!"

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

'I would describe it as a splitting headache.'

'The plan is that we wander in the desert until somebody recognizes our right to exist.'

Safer Torah

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

Torah-nosaurus Rex

Manna Helper

Moses Invents the Top 10 List: 'Whoa, whoa, whoa...trust me, that's waaaay too much information.'

"Still not sure why Moses wanted a flint knife, or what exactly circumcision is..."

"God is out to get me."

Torah reading on the subway.

Samson Gets Off at Fourteen

Benaiah questions the mighty men on who pushed him in the pit.

Haman as a child

'No, sorry, this isn't an oil tanker.'

"Look, it's manna or nothing - No WAY He's going to give us ham sandwiches!"

'Why can't you rebel like a normal teenager?'

Joshua as a kid

'I'll let your people go, but NO dual citizenship!'

King Solomon

'I liberate them from Egypt, give them manna, daily bread, milk AND honey, and the can't even keep ten lousy commandments!'

'Lot was told to take his wife and daughter and flee from Sodom.'