Torah Twister T-Shirts

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

'Yes, all at once!'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Moses as a child.

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

Hanukkah tree

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

Jack and the Beanstalk.

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

' I don't think we're in Kansas any more ...'

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

"First, do no ham."

Moses Parting the Red Tea

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"Okay, we get it - You're a social conservative!"

'He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.'

'I would describe it as a splitting headache.'

'We were playing Twister at a party. . . there was a loud popping noise.'

Safer Torah

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

Torah-nosaurus Rex

Serf faints as apple is shot from his head by an arrow.

Burke and Hare and Hare

Really, Brother Gregory, that was only necessary on your head.