Toothache Warrior Gifts

'But toothache is the worst!'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Ban on Free Speech

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

"Ninja bread men"

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

Soldier armed with a pen.

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

Best Seller

Mod Kwan Doh

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

Decapitated coffee.

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

Shakespeare in the clink

'Coleridge'

"A bunch of kids next door are going berserk with a baseball bat! Call 911. I'm losing candy fast!"

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

Writing For Dummies Books For Dummies.

'It's a good building contract legally, but your jargon's weak.'

Censorship is killing free society.

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"I like what you have here but the title seems a little pushy."

Rebel without a cause. Poet without a war.

Meet Zelda Wisteria, author of the book 'Leap, and the Net will Appear!'

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'