Wordsmith Warrior Gifts

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Legal says we could get by with the term 'super' but adding 'duper' might be pushing it.'

"Great news! Your novel is in a medium-size pile in the middle of the floor about four feet from the left side of Oprah's assistant's desk."

Meet Zelda Wisteria, author of the book 'Leap, and the Net will Appear!'

'You're on our turf, this is poet's corner.' 'It may be your corner, friend, but it's on writers block.'

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

The immortal philosopher Murphy sets pen to paper...

For six hours straight, Brad had been struggling to come up with a new visual cliche for writer's block.

Writer's Strike

Shakespeare in the clink

"Just need a minute to send a quick email and the three hours to wonder if the tone was appropriate."

Decapitated coffee.

"Yeah, yeah, enough about that Covid and Ukraine stuff. Here's what's REALLY important; the proper use of 'gone' and 'went'."

'We feel that advertising that insults the customers intelligence, distracts them from the high cost of the product.'

'Quick, pen and paper! The muzak has brought poetry bubbling to the surface!'

"They said you'd be challenging."

"I need a card that says, 'You were right' without saying 'I was wrong'."

"This writing programme you sent me has got 'writers block'!"

Best Seller

Tweeter's Block

Unpublished novelists of the world unite!

Copyright is always right

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

My Year Searching For a Gimmicky Stunt to Base a Book On.

Don't even think about asking how my second book is coming along.

Copywriter for Deodorant Commercials

Angry Words

'Methinks thou are a day late and a shilling short."

A writer goes to work.

A man is chained to his pen.

"Its name - Kamizak - just sounds too threatening."

A poison pen fights a poison mic.

Anyway I thought I'd have a go at this writing lark on the first publisher I showed my scribbles gave me a five book deal.

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"