Wordsmith Warriors Gifts

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

Sorry is the hardest word.

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

'Are you trying to disparage the notion that less is more.'

Gun with a finger for a muzzle

I rhyme today for I feel great cheer. Listen up, people. I am truly moved. The greatest three words a man can hear. You are pre-approved! Hail the bard of the home-loan sonnet.

Poets Arguing

Words do hurt.

'Of course I'm an excellent lawyer. It says so right on my website.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block...'

'I understand that the two of you had a rather successful collaboration on our new sex manual!'

'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will rip out my entrails and dance on my grave.'

"The next speaker needs an introduction but won't get it from me!"

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Campaign for Plain English

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Torturing the English Language

"Meet The Author"

"She's been so creative lately."

"Do me next."

First Novels.

Edgar Allen Poe

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Backfire

Cut Price

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."