Dental Care Warrior Gifts

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

The household cavalry

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

Vernon has a Floss with Death

'I'm the good witch, and this is my house - made entirely out of dental care products.'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

"Wool is O.K. but there's a fortune in dental floss."

Human Dust Buster

"Trust me, the best beauty tip is to get a good toothpaste and brush your teeth twice a day: it will keep you looking young. . ."

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

(Cursing symbols)! Did I have a piece of spinach stuck to my tusk the whole date?

Our house is a mess! Life's messy, I need to simplify. You don't have the nerve to do what needs to be done. We left our laundry on the sofa for you, mom! You're so wrong. I can too get rid of my kids. You'll save tons on cleaning supplies alone!

'Why is it I can see what needs doing around here and you can't? . . . I know what cures that. . . 'Chores-ercise'.'

4 Great Life Hacks for the Holidays!

"If you won't brush or floss could you at least run your tongue over your teeth once in a while?"

'Here are Mister Fernbush's new dentures...his mouth is a bit large, so try not to stare!'

'I like Dr. Keener. He's a good loser.'

The treatment is the same on the NHS...

Hey! I just vacuumed there!! Sisyphus at home.

'I need a new tooth brush.'

'Don't blame me, I told you to pick your feet up.'

'But toothache is the worst!'

'Brush with Calgote' Hmmm...

'You don't trust me, do you?'

'Would you like to take advantage of our 'painless dentistry option'?'

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

'Someone must have called him yellow again.'

"I did take off my muddy shoes, mom...these are my socks!"

"Whoopsy."

"I said, I think it's time we changed the cat's litter box!"

Toothpaste Marketing Department

"When I said 'spit'... I meant in the sink!"