Tool Pun Fan Pillows

'Dude, I'm getting sooo hammered at this party!'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

Cupid misses his shot.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

Arm Chair

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

'And that's Mel. To be honest, I've always found him to be a hard person to nail down!'

'The side effects are headaches, sweating,nervousness, and a depressed bank account.'

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

"And you say these stabbing back pains started when you got into politics?"

"Keep it open."

"Well yes, I could prescribe glasses, but frankly, just cutting your fringe would probably work better..."

"Okay - I can see you now."

'I don't think much of the punchline.'

"So the SM is for swedish massage?"

Yeah, I know. My dating profile says I'm a "ginger," so you were expecting a redhead.

Naval Command 'Innie' and 'Outie'.

Moby Dick: Pop-Up Version

Skipping with a beard.

'One shot of this and you won't know a thing. Too late. He doesn't know a thing now.'

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."