Produce Pun Fan Pillows

"Yeah, it's all grown locally. Just not locally around here."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

Cupid misses his shot.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

'Maybe you should try flowers?'

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

"It's the closest I get to being a hunter-gatherer."

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

'This is my wife Hilda, who is quite a tomato herself!'

Arm Chair

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

'The side effects are headaches, sweating,nervousness, and a depressed bank account.'

"Keep it open."

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

"Okay - I can see you now."

"Well yes, I could prescribe glasses, but frankly, just cutting your fringe would probably work better..."

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

"And you say these stabbing back pains started when you got into politics?"

"I hear this place is a hotbed of international pancakes."

'I don't think much of the punchline.'