Tech Pun Fan Pillows

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Time Machine Collision

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

My url is: http:/how:/um:/powwow.co.chiese.html.

Cupid misses his shot.

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

"It appears you have a virus."

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

Arm Chair

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

"And you say these stabbing back pains started when you got into politics?"

"Well yes, I could prescribe glasses, but frankly, just cutting your fringe would probably work better..."

"Okay - I can see you now."

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'I don't think much of the punchline.'

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'

'One shot of this and you won't know a thing. Too late. He doesn't know a thing now.'

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."