Tech Pun Fan Pillows

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Time Machine Collision

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

My url is: http:/how:/um:/powwow.co.chiese.html.

Cupid misses his shot.

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

"It appears you have a virus."

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"First gig in a while?"

Arm Chair

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

"Okay - I can see you now."

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

"Well yes, I could prescribe glasses, but frankly, just cutting your fringe would probably work better..."

"And you say these stabbing back pains started when you got into politics?"

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'I don't think much of the punchline.'

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

Finger Food.