Tech Rivalry Fan Pillows

"You have defamed me, sir. I challenge you to a cage fight in Las Vegas!"

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

The Alpha Seltzer

Time Machine Collision

"I need to catch you after the meeting."

My url is: http:/how:/um:/powwow.co.chiese.html.

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

'My app just ate your widget.'

"It appears you have a virus."

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

Jim Balsillie orders dessert...

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

"I now offer DVR service for clients for want to see their future later."

Escalator joust.

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'

Antiques.

'Good. Now just click on 'play'...'

"But I'm hot on the trail of my Google doppelgänger."

The fight ends, the hockey players flee, and the curling team once again rules the ice rink.

Selfie Extension Stik

'Hea-hea. . . that's an old AOL disk.'

Forgive me father, I may be about to sin. Speak openly, so. It's about Bill Gates. Go on. He's so generous. He gives billions to charity, he's turning into a not-so-bad person. Sometimes I … It's okay. Say it. I think about buying a windows-based computer. Sacked from the Apple section for sacrilege. Go ye out, heathen!

What we thought Elon Musk did...What Elon Musk actually does...

'I warned you that it wasn't user friendly!'

'It's my re-moat.'

The man who discovered human error...

"I remember when 'family time' meant everyone staring at the same screen."