Tech Rival Fan Pillows

Forgive me father, I may be about to sin. Speak openly, so. It's about Bill Gates. Go on. He's so generous. He gives billions to charity, he's turning into a not-so-bad person. Sometimes I … It's okay. Say it. I think about buying a windows-based computer. Sacked from the Apple section for sacrilege. Go ye out, heathen!

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Time Machine Collision

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

My url is: http:/how:/um:/powwow.co.chiese.html.

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'My app just ate your widget.'

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

"It appears you have a virus."

"Ladies and gentlemen, start your companies!"

"I'm sorry your team lost - perhaps you should have rooted for the other team."

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

Jim Balsillie orders dessert...

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

Microsoft Merger

"I now offer DVR service for clients for want to see their future later."

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

Escalator joust.

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'

"It's my selfie stick. But I look a lot more attractive from a distance."

'Good. Now just click on 'play'...'

"The game's over. Will you switch it back to our home security cam?"

"But I'm hot on the trail of my Google doppelgänger."

'Hey! These new Google glasses are great!'

The fight ends, the hockey players flee, and the curling team once again rules the ice rink.

'iMac, iPod, iPhone, uWant, uBuy.'

Selfie Extension Stik

'I warned you that it wasn't user friendly!'