Math Pun Fan Pillows

'You're not just a number to me, Abercrombie -- you're an irrational number!'

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

She loves to play with string theory.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Cupid misses his shot.

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

"We've invented a new quantum microchip and at the same time we haven't."

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

Math Jokes

"Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?"

"Kevin's sort of a negative person, while I tend to be positive, so we have an electrical connection."

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

Arm Chair

People who understand Venn diagrams

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

"For her birthday I bought my wife an abacus...

Maths Department with sum on door sign.

"And you say these stabbing back pains started when you got into politics?"

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

"Well yes, I could prescribe glasses, but frankly, just cutting your fringe would probably work better..."

"Okay - I can see you now."

'I don't think much of the punchline.'

'Sale - monopole magnets - 50% off'