Mathematical Pun Aficionado Pillows

"Nothing to worry about . . . just a sprained angle."

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

She loves to play with string theory.

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

"We've invented a new quantum microchip and at the same time we haven't."

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

Math Jokes

"Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?"

People who understand Venn diagrams

Calls of the Wild: Moose Call, Coyote Call and Margin Call.

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

'Your investments aren't under performing, they're just appreciation challenged.'

'This is what I call the ultimate in money laundering.'

'I'm rather rich actually, maybe it's because I always laugh all the way to the bank...'

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

'Everyone says 'business is business' - But has anyone ever checked the math on that?'

'I use that to check for combovers.'

Maths Department with sum on door sign.

Defensive Lineman

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'Let's not overreact. We're just in solvent, not bankrupt.'